I was sent this poem written by the Sufi poet, Rumi, sometime ago and it continues to inspire me on many different levels:

“Be with those who help your being.  Don’t sit with indifferent people; whose breath comes cold out of their mouths.  Not these visible forms, your work is deeper.

A chunk of dirt thrown in the air breaks to pieces.  If you don’t try to fly, and so break yourself apart, you will be broken open by death, when it’s too late for all you could become.

Leaves get yellow.  The tree puts out fresh roots and makes them green.  Why are you so content with a love that turns you yellow?”

This poem has become a daily invitation and a challenge to me,  to bravely face all of my preconceived notions of who I am or who I thought I was and what my purpose is.  It reminds me that in this moment, and then in that one, I have to commit to the truth of the hard work and courage that goes along with being that person who is not content with “a love that turns you yellow.” 

It involves becoming a person ready and receptive to the fearless and  dangerous and REAL love that coaxes, prods, and pushes your being towards the flight God intended for you from your moment of creation.

Let yourself be thrown up in the air like a chunk of dirt breaking into tiny pieces?  Wow, this is a radical letting go of the Self that sounds like Bungee jumping to me.  Intellectually, I know that living without a safety net reaps rewards that the majority of folks will never taste…yet still, there is that  jump…

For much of my life, while I have outwardly appeared bold and brazen, my choices reflected a need for security, a tendency to complacency, and a holding on so tightly…I’m surprised I didn’t instantaneously combust!  Being broken open was not on MY agenda…emphasis on the word my.  

But life broke me open anyway (against my will) and what a ride! When you surrender and allow yourself to be broken open, people serendipitously appear who connect with you on a deeper level and bearing such gifts as love and wisdom and compassion that you wondered where all of these souls had been hiding.  They benefit from your person, your gifts, and your love too.  Nature mirrors this vibrancy of living in the light, of moving towards the light, the way a tree strains and grows towards the sun.

So here I am again in this moment, palms open, with the way of Jesus Christ, the path of the Buddha, the latest bestselling self-help book of Eckhart Tolle; loosening by bits that hard scab of self-will that seems to be resistant to removal, yet ripped off it must be as it blocks true joy.  Expanding my love beyond the border of friends and family, to include those difficult to love, those who have caused great hurt, the stranger, the plants and animals…

There are bright green shoots sprouting in my soul, fragile with promise and vulnerable to much, anticipating and percolating under the fertile food of the spirit.  It is a waiting time, much like the buds in winter.  It can be dark and scary at times, like it is at the roots of all things. Yet actively waiting is anything but indifferent and lucky for me there is still heat coming from my mouth.



  1. Dear Katherine,
    Congratulations for, in my humble opinion, your most happiest posting to date. Perhaps you are resting and stilling the noise and verbage that often distracts us from the joyful (and ever hopeful) voice of the Universe.

    We are responsible not to despair, I believe. We are responsible to forever cling to hope, love, life, light and humanity.
    I have to run because I am changing my car today (hurrah!). Yes, this material things matter to me. I am not so enlightened as to NOT TO CARE at all what steed bears me in my daily work and play. Hehehe.

    I hope toreply to your earlier reply soon.

    Take care, Nun Tuck. I am glad the hallowed halls of Sherwood Forest is alive with your postings, sprung from your undoubtedly heaty mouth. Hehehe.

    Pax Taufiqa

    • Thanks Taufiq! I hope you like your new car…I’m getting a new one in 60 days, my current one has many miles on it, yippee!! Nothing wrong with the material world if it doesn’t own us!

      Well, that was a happy post…but the next one a little more challenging. The process of grief I have been going through since November is a strange one,little rays of hope, moments of renewed pleasure, and unexpected days of vigor and gladness take place and then, an hour later, you are weeping again. However, God is good, and I have faith that all will be great…in a time. Warmly, Nun Tuck P.S. Don’t drive too fast (I do, and it’s not a good idea!)

  2. Dear Kat,

    I really liked this posting and have linked it to a posting I did yesterday… or perhaps the day before? I have been writing so much, and on top of a regime change in my firm, well… i get kinda jumbled up. I would pick up my cellphone and in an instance i begin to wonder… what the heck did i wanna do with the cellphone?

    Yes… you are right, its okay to play with this world, but you musnt let it master you. Perhaps this is one of the hardest thing that we must do…

    Yup (again)… your latest posting is a curveball. It is important to throw this curveballs once in a while. It is patently clear that your blog is a form of reflection, which we call tasawwuf, and refers also to the quest of knowing and understanding oneself.

    Grief… It is a strange thing. I have never gotten over some form of grief and I continue to mourn the passing of friends and relatives. But it lasts but awhile and I remember the wonderful things that they did and the wonderful human beings that they were… I sound like a hallmark card. Hehehe.

    Yes, i like my new car. BUt when i left my old car at the dealer’s lot as a trade-in, i felt wistful and melancholy. A famous british writer named Jeremy Clarkson once wrote that these things… cars, bikes, planes etc… they all have souls. i dont know about that… but i guess especially in vehicles and devices that we use everyday, we leave an imprint of our soul (however intangible it may be) on it. And when it comes to cars perhaps especially so.

    You say God is Good! In my posting today(where i sketched a colour pic for the first time ever in the blog), i ended exclaimed ‘How blessed are we to have God as God!’ God as God is Good as it Gets… hehehe

    I should sleep now, I have to send Mikhail to school in 6 hours time.



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